Who wants to know what I learned in Human Sexuality today?

Psychological Influences on Love and Attraction
First of all, there's this thing called LIMERENCE, which is the state people describe as being "in love". It is also called infatuation or a "neurotransmitter surge". There are 10 different characteristics while in the limerence stage.
1) Intrusive thinking about "X" (the person you are "in limerence" with) as a possible partner. You can't get this person out of your head!
2) Strong longing for reciprocation of feelings from "X". You think, "If only 'X' wanted me..."
3) Your mood depends on how "X" reciprocates feelings. For example, if "X" just gave you flowers, you're in a good mood!
4) You can only feel this way towards ONE person at a time if it's "true" limerence. If you are able to go out with multiple people at a time, chances are, you aren't in true limerence with them.
5) You seek relief through fantasy, meaning, you spend a lot of time thinking/fantisizing about "X".
6) When you're first starting to get to know "X", you are often speechless, shy, embarassed because you're still not comfortable with that person that there's still that possibility of being rejected.
7) You over-emphasize all the favorable acts "X" does for you, and you tend to ignore or devise an explanation for all the unfavorable acts.
8) You feel an actual aching heart when "X" hurts you--which is related to the muscles near your heart and breathing.
9) You just feel "lighter" all the time, you are on a natural high.
10) You have intense feelings for "X".
--We also learned the course of limerence.
1) Limerence begins with admiration. You tell yourself, "he/she's so great because..."
2) When you start thinking about the person, you are happy!
3) When the person starts showing feelings, you become happier and happier.
4) You become more involved if there are external obstacles that stop you from being together, when you doubt your feelings, and when you still have that fear of rejection. So you know when a guy or girl plays hard to get, you just want then more!
5) HOPE + UNCERTAINTY = LIMERENCE. When you're always uncertain about the relationship, the longer limerence will last. However, HOPE + CERTAINTY = THE POSSIBILITY OF A REAL RELATIONSHIP.
6) Lastly, if limerence is reciprocated and the feelings are known, then the level of limerence will stay the same until the chemicals in your brain drop. This means, limerence can only reach a certain point, and once it reaches that point, it doesn't grow anymore, you either stay at the "top" of limerence or things start to decline. It's pretty sad if you ask me.
--So, who thinks they're in this stage? If you are, it's not LOVE, it's LIMERENCE! Some other interesting things my teacher talked about was that LIMERENCE ALWAYS DECLINES, unless you maintain uncertainty which will keep the "limerence" going, but will also increase mistrust. So it's a lose-lose situation. Limerence is ALL about feeling good and has NOTHING to do with LOVE. Often, people mistake being in love while in this state. Lasting relationships depend on how STRONG the limerence period was. Every FOUR years, relationships go through different cycles because endorphins in your brain decrease. Distance and Space keeps both partners changing, which is a GOOD thing.. both partners need to be able to grow still. Another interesting thing my teacher said was that there was a correlation between waiting to have sex and long lasting relationships. So, the longer you wait to have sex, your relationship will last longer.. and sex includes oral sex, anal sex, hot monkey sex, however you like to do it, even though you don't think that's sex. Just so long as your partner makes you orgasm.. so let's just say, the longer you wait to orgasm from your partner, the longer your relationship will last! I mean, and who wants to give up their heart to someone they don't know very well? It's really hard to get to know someone during the limerence stage because you are still "blinded" by everything and you are still "high". Once you are beyong the limerence stage, you feel relief and relaxation. But yeah, if you don't believe what I'm typing, look up "DOROTHY TENNOV" on google or something, and you can do your own research.

Dam, I already typed hella and that was only PART ONE of the lecture.. PART TWO talked about the IDEAL LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP. I'll write about that tomorrow because all of this is a lot already! Enjoy reading my readers! I must now study for my very first midterm of the quarter tomorrow! Wow, I love psychology!

Oh yeah, limerence and love are two different things. My perception about love is... you know you LOVE a person (like a romantic kind of love) when you are willing to DIE for them.. sounds extreme, but I think that's when you know. It sucks because thinking about all of this makes me sad.. like all the feelings you have for a person all have scientific explanations. I guess it's not good to believe that my feelings for Jonathan are all psychological, biochemical, and scientific.. bc I know the feelings I have for him are MUCH more than that.. hmm.. but tomorrow I'm gonna blog about that subject, so stay tuned!