FRIENDS. How many of us have them?
So it's 5pm on a saturday and I have nothing to do. I remember way back when there was always something to do every single day of the weekend. I came to the realization that I really am starting to drift away from my friends. I never know what's going on with everyone these days. A week ago or so, a friend of mine said, "where have you been, hiding under a rock?" I guess I have because I feel so distant to the people I was once close to. The only time I go out is with Jonathan.. and I have no complaints at all. I practically spend every waking moment with him, but it just bothers me sometimes that when he's at work, I stay home with my sister and watch movies. It's too awkward for me to call someone I haven't spoken to for weeks and ask them what they're doing. I don't want anyone thinking, "oh she's only calling because her boyfriend is at work." Sometimes I get tired of asking people how they are, what they are doing, etc.. for once, I want someone to approach me first. I don't know if that makes sense. I also feel like I don't belong to a set group of friends, because with the friends I have, they each have their own groups, so I feel even more excluded. (That probably makes no sense at all.. blah.) I'll never really be a part of this certain group because I wasn't there in the beginning. I really do feel like the "odd ball out" at times. Also, I'm not the party every day type like some of my other friends, so again, that makes it hard for me to spend time with them too. It's even hard for me to go out with Diana and Sherilyn now because they're never without their bfs.. so that's why I just stick close to mine because going out with other couples (even though they're all your friends) without your significant other is pretty hard.. being the 3rd, 5th, or 7th wheel is never fun. I mean I do have a few friends that I can truly consider a true friend, but even those friendships have become distant in a way. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing things because it's a saturday and I have nothing to do. But anyway, I guess we all have grown and changed (after graduation and during the summer). So if reading my blog is the only way you know what's going on in my life, give me a call dammit.. or an IM because after all of this, I still love you all. Plus, I only have 2 months exactly before I move away for college.