It's so amazing how life can change dramatically in a split second. I'm not talking about my life here.. I mean it changes little by little each day, but not one big dramatic change. My mom called me at 8am this morning to tell me the news. I was speechless, I didn't think she was talking about someone I actually knew, and then I cried. I cried because I was thinking about my 3 cousins, I was crying because I was thinking about my own mom and what I would do in that situation, I was crying because it was TOTALLY unexpected, I was crying because I knew her too, she was family. It's funny how a single moment like this can change your perception of everything around you. Like seriously this time, I need to let go of all this negativity that has been drowning me lately. I need to be grateful of the things that have been offered to me. I have great grandparents that would lose sleep over me, I have a mom that I can tell ANYTHING to, and I really mean anything, I have a sister.. that's it.. no jk, she's a great sister too, I have magnificent cousins that give me this sense of "life" everytime I'm around them, my aunts and uncles.. I can't even get started, my childhood friends that will be there for me no matter what, my dearest Jonathan who would cut off an arm for me, and I even have my dad, who I don't speak to or see often, but he's there for me and he loves me and I love him. Like seriously, I don't know why I let this "crap" affect me.. because when you think about it.. some of the things that I consider "crap" are nothing at all.. If the crap were to go away, I'd still be the same. I'm probably not making any sense right now.. but whatever. When a person dies, you don't think about all the "crap" they had or all the other stuff, you think about how good of a person they were. The greater they were, the harder I cry.

My dearests Neneng, PJ, Brian, and Uncle Boy... be strong. To my Auntie Ellen, rest in peace and watch over this family.