My lifesaver came and swooped me at 1am last night.. well technically today. I was just having a breakdown and I couldn't be where I was. Anyway, I slept right when we got to his house and woke up bright and early.. well not really. He cooked some Mac and Cheese for brunch and Joel came over.. so the three of us watched TV and stuff. They dropped me off in SC.. I went to class.. boring snoring. I hate PMS. Oh yeah, I also took out my nose ring.. now let's hope it closes normally.

So i'm back in Santa Cruz again. For some reason, everytime I'm here, I'm 10 times more hungry. I guess it's bc I don't have anything else to do besides hw, and I don't like doing that. It sucks bc I went to Albertson's yesterday with Jonathan.. and we bought dorm food.. one thing I bought was a half gallon of milk.. well I just got myself some cereal, and the expiration date for the milk is Jan 30! I have exactly 4 days to finish that half gallon. Wish me luck!

Villiard116 (6:26:07 PM): monthly anniversaries..gettin played out..ya know haha <--I also thought that that was interestinsg, bc it's kinda true.. but it's one of the perks.. I still do it from time to time. But I think the only time Jonathan and I ever really celebrated a month anniversary was the VERY first month we were together back in 1998. I don't remember what we did.. probably nothing bc we both didn't drive yet, but I think we celebrated by talking on the phone all day. haha. I remember our one year anniversary, we got into a little argument.. who knows about what? We didn't see each other bc we STILL didn't drive.. haha. But we were fine after 2 minutes and celebrated it by talking on the phone again? Our two year anniversary, we were at the "lock-in" at MHT, so we slept together.. literally.. hmm.. the 3rd and 4th year we didn't talk to each other, but our five year anniversary, we spent the day in Monterey building sand castles, writing our names in the sand, and having lunch/dinner by the sea. Yeah.. it's a lot better now that we're much older. But anyway, speaking of monthly anniversaries, we just had one on friday, I think I sorta blogged about it. Kinda weird that it was 5 years, 7 months, and 3 days ago Jonathan asked me to be his girlfriend (the first time.. haha). Time flies when you're having fun.

Wow.. I was supposed to blog about that ideal relationship stuff.. oh well. Anyway, I had a great and relaxing weekend. Let's recap.

Friday
-5 year and 7 month anniversary
-Jonathan and I got into a little fight that morning. We always get into arguments concerning other people! But yeah, we resolved everything when he came to SC. He brought me the single, "I Care 'Bout You" by Milestone, so I couldn't be mad at him anymore. That was the first song we danced to 6 years and 3 months ago.. my oh my.
-back in San Jose, we had to wait around for a while bc Ellison was supposed to pick up Sher at my house RIGHT when we got there, but no.
-Jonathan and I went to my uncle Charlie's house.. there was barely any food left for us bc we were supposed to be there an hour before we arrived.. but we ate, and we were full.
-stupid Hampton Inn called Jonathan and forced him to work for a couple hours, so while he was at work, I took a nap
-Jonathan came back and we played for my cousins for a bit.
-We were tired, so we went home. Jonathan was supposed to leave after I fell asleep, but he ended up sleeping too.. haha dork!

Saturday
-went to Oakridge to buy Daysha's bday present.. and then I went shopping at AE. Jonathan got mad bc I keep shopping.. it's alright though!
-went to Bamboola where Daysha's party was at.. there were SOOO many little kids running around.. and when we went into the play area, I felt like fainting bc it had that "Chuck E. Cheese" smell when you go in the pool of plastic balls.
-we ate pizza, watched the clown make balloon animals and objects, then left bc Jonathan had work.
-I went home, then went to VF with my sister.. where I did some more shopping at Hollister.
-hmm.. I think I did nothing until Jonathan came over then we went to Daysha's house bc his relatives were still there.
-played some poker, hung out, left, went to bed.

Sunday
-went with Jonathan to his house to fold laundry, but I didn't fold.. ate cookies.. watched TV
-went to Albertson's bc I needed dorm food
-Jonathan left for work, and I took a nap. I woke up to the sound of "The Osbournes" so I watched the marathon.. ate some spaghetti.
-dropped some spaghetti off for Jonathan bc he was hungry.
-Jenna, my manager, called me and told me I was scheduled to work at 6pm! It was 6:23 when she called! dammit.
-I dropped my sis off at home, changed out of my sweats, then rushed to work.
-blah.. I was about an hour late, but it didn't really matter bc the other workers didn't really start working yet.
-I don't like that manager.. it was my first time working with her, and I don't like her at all. I was the only girl working tonight too, not including the manager.. but I guess it was alright.
-Jonathan's here now! bye bye!

Who wants to know what I learned in Human Sexuality today?

Psychological Influences on Love and Attraction
First of all, there's this thing called LIMERENCE, which is the state people describe as being "in love". It is also called infatuation or a "neurotransmitter surge". There are 10 different characteristics while in the limerence stage.
1) Intrusive thinking about "X" (the person you are "in limerence" with) as a possible partner. You can't get this person out of your head!
2) Strong longing for reciprocation of feelings from "X". You think, "If only 'X' wanted me..."
3) Your mood depends on how "X" reciprocates feelings. For example, if "X" just gave you flowers, you're in a good mood!
4) You can only feel this way towards ONE person at a time if it's "true" limerence. If you are able to go out with multiple people at a time, chances are, you aren't in true limerence with them.
5) You seek relief through fantasy, meaning, you spend a lot of time thinking/fantisizing about "X".
6) When you're first starting to get to know "X", you are often speechless, shy, embarassed because you're still not comfortable with that person that there's still that possibility of being rejected.
7) You over-emphasize all the favorable acts "X" does for you, and you tend to ignore or devise an explanation for all the unfavorable acts.
8) You feel an actual aching heart when "X" hurts you--which is related to the muscles near your heart and breathing.
9) You just feel "lighter" all the time, you are on a natural high.
10) You have intense feelings for "X".
--We also learned the course of limerence.
1) Limerence begins with admiration. You tell yourself, "he/she's so great because..."
2) When you start thinking about the person, you are happy!
3) When the person starts showing feelings, you become happier and happier.
4) You become more involved if there are external obstacles that stop you from being together, when you doubt your feelings, and when you still have that fear of rejection. So you know when a guy or girl plays hard to get, you just want then more!
5) HOPE + UNCERTAINTY = LIMERENCE. When you're always uncertain about the relationship, the longer limerence will last. However, HOPE + CERTAINTY = THE POSSIBILITY OF A REAL RELATIONSHIP.
6) Lastly, if limerence is reciprocated and the feelings are known, then the level of limerence will stay the same until the chemicals in your brain drop. This means, limerence can only reach a certain point, and once it reaches that point, it doesn't grow anymore, you either stay at the "top" of limerence or things start to decline. It's pretty sad if you ask me.
--So, who thinks they're in this stage? If you are, it's not LOVE, it's LIMERENCE! Some other interesting things my teacher talked about was that LIMERENCE ALWAYS DECLINES, unless you maintain uncertainty which will keep the "limerence" going, but will also increase mistrust. So it's a lose-lose situation. Limerence is ALL about feeling good and has NOTHING to do with LOVE. Often, people mistake being in love while in this state. Lasting relationships depend on how STRONG the limerence period was. Every FOUR years, relationships go through different cycles because endorphins in your brain decrease. Distance and Space keeps both partners changing, which is a GOOD thing.. both partners need to be able to grow still. Another interesting thing my teacher said was that there was a correlation between waiting to have sex and long lasting relationships. So, the longer you wait to have sex, your relationship will last longer.. and sex includes oral sex, anal sex, hot monkey sex, however you like to do it, even though you don't think that's sex. Just so long as your partner makes you orgasm.. so let's just say, the longer you wait to orgasm from your partner, the longer your relationship will last! I mean, and who wants to give up their heart to someone they don't know very well? It's really hard to get to know someone during the limerence stage because you are still "blinded" by everything and you are still "high". Once you are beyong the limerence stage, you feel relief and relaxation. But yeah, if you don't believe what I'm typing, look up "DOROTHY TENNOV" on google or something, and you can do your own research.

Dam, I already typed hella and that was only PART ONE of the lecture.. PART TWO talked about the IDEAL LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP. I'll write about that tomorrow because all of this is a lot already! Enjoy reading my readers! I must now study for my very first midterm of the quarter tomorrow! Wow, I love psychology!

Oh yeah, limerence and love are two different things. My perception about love is... you know you LOVE a person (like a romantic kind of love) when you are willing to DIE for them.. sounds extreme, but I think that's when you know. It sucks because thinking about all of this makes me sad.. like all the feelings you have for a person all have scientific explanations. I guess it's not good to believe that my feelings for Jonathan are all psychological, biochemical, and scientific.. bc I know the feelings I have for him are MUCH more than that.. hmm.. but tomorrow I'm gonna blog about that subject, so stay tuned!

Human Sexuality
I was a little late for class today because Jonathan and I had to pick up Joanne at school, but no biggie! I was able to miss the first 20 minutes of class, which was the most boring part. However, Human Sexuality was GREAT today. I learned a lot about love and relationships. First of all, we learned about (and how to find) the Grafenberg spot also known as the G-spot. So it's not a myth, there really is a pleasure spot in women... want more detailed info? Ask me... haha. The most interesting topic she discussed today was Chemical Influences on Attraction and Love. You know that HIGH you get when you first meet someone? Your heart beats really fast, you can't talk, your pain tolerance is great (bc you're so numb), etc.. yeah, that HIGH continues and lasts up until the moment you know the person is YOURS.. like when you have no more fear of losing that person, then that high is gone.. it's pretty sad really. So, that's an explanation why there are some people who break up after that high disappears bc they think something is wrong with them, but really, there isn't (well most of the time). So yeah, that moment when you stop getting that high, is called TOLERANCE. You are tolerant of your partner, and sometimes, you may become "sick" of the other person. That's where DECLINE comes in. But my teacher talked about how week (more or less, depending on how long the relationship is) breaks from each other after a HIGH has gone away is good bc when you see that person, you get that high all over again, but the cycle sometimes continues. HOWEVER, if you're lucky and if you're relationship is strong, you develop these bonding hormones (endorphins) that are responsible for the mushy stuff like nicknames. These hormones produce feelings of security, safety, comfort, well-being, etc... and those feelings go on as long as the relationship lasts. So in a nutshell, the cycle starts with attraction, tolerance & decline, then repeats, but sometimes bonding hormones occur after. Also, I guess a lot of people asked why females get really attached after having sex. Interested? Well, there is this hormone called oxytocin (more in women than in men) which is responsible for that feeling of attachment. This hormone is released during an orgasm.. and as most of you know, orgasms occur during intercourse, foreplay, and masturbation. So a woman can still "bond" to a man even when the man isn't there through masterbation. So, if you don't want a woman to become EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED to you, don't give her an orgasm. bottom line. Oh yeah, and men have SOME of this hormone, so they become emotionally attached too. But that emotional bond happens when they experience danger PLUS an orgasm. So a big scary brother/dad sometimes contributes to a man bonding to you. But again, all of these things vary from person to person.. it's just a general thing. Isn't it interesting though how LOVE and ATTRACTION are all in the brain!? After that class i went to boring biology with ben (ooh alliteration!).

Oh yeah, I thought that it was pretty crazy when she said that that feeling you get when you are first attracted to someone is VERY similar to the feeling you get after smoking a phat blunt. Weird, yet true.