I’ve always been in a relationship or some “sort” of relationship (hehe) or had a crush… so every time I did anything, I thought for two. “Shopping time! Oh wait, let me get him a new tie! It’s going to look so cute on him!” “I feel like dinner tonight with my girls. Oh, but let me get him something to go!” FOR THE RECORD: I’m not complaining, I take pride in the way I’ve treated my men. It’s my way of being generous and there is nothing wrong with being thoughtful or spoiling anybody. But sometimes, you start to feel resentful. You KNOW when someone is taking advantage of you. Then you start to focus on all of the THINGS. Up until my early twenties (how sad… I’m in my mid-twenties now), I was mostly resentful and oober materialistic and measured their love for me with stuff. It’s a disappointment to remember how I was because even though I was generous, I had selfish-thinking. I didn’t give enough attention to the little things. You won’t be happy if you think like that.
It hasn’t been until recently that I started to value the little things and gain more selfless-thinking. Don’t get me wrong—I will still spoil any man I’m involved with, but I no longer expect anything pretty in return. It’s nice, but it’s not required. If I fell for you when you had nothing, obviously I don’t want you now for something. Don’t worry, no one is taking advantage of me right now. I just think it’s funny and rather naive when people make assumptions about the kind of relationship you have or had with someone. When you see someone doing anything in their power to make you happy—selflessly—that’s when you know they care.
Last night I was talking on the phone, and I was trying to remember all of the “little” things that have been done for me. All of the presents that money could never buy. And even when money was spent, I thought of the journey that went along with that gift—because sometimes that matters too. You don’t have to continue reading… I’m actually going to start bragging now.
On my birthday, I was stuck at work and he was unemployed. What did he do? He lived an hour away but drove to meet me on my lunch with burritos from a favorite joint we discovered together. We had a random picnic at a random park.
He walked into my work, handed me a box of our favorite chicken, and walked right out without saying a word.
“V-day in a box” complete with corny red-heart wrapping and popcorn, a DVD, and my favorite chocolate.
On another Valentine’s day, we were both working late. He coordinated with my best friend to have her drop me off at the hotel he worked at after our shift was done. I don’t even think he was done with his shift, but he rushed me to a room that was filled with music, candles, and rose petals… complete with a dinner for two. Hella corny, but I felt pretty damn special.
A home-made card that was more like a flipbook. Last page said, “Will you….” and I had to open up another flap that read… “be mine?”
A “mix-tape” CD with corny love songs and a collage of pictures on the CD itself and on the outside cover.
I had to cancel vacation plans to LA with friends at the last minute because I was short the moolah. He was going to a sold out event in LA with other friends the same weekend. Without me asking, he made arrangements for me to get there (I had a free flight home). Once we were there, he drove me around to meet up with my friends (SoCal is huge). Plans fell through. After a lot of effort, he got me a ticket to the sold out event with the little money he had and I had the time of my freaking life. He later shared that he almost gave his ticket to a friend to take me to Disneyland instead just because he hated seeing me sad. I would have been happy either way! He refused to let me give up.
I told him to leave me alone and meant it, but he stayed. As women, we know that saying “leave me alone” is a test sometimes. It really means so much more when you mean it, but he really stays! haha
Washing my car, going to bed early because I am, random kisses, making dinner, bringing me lunch because I spent all of my money, doing my laundry, trying to surprise me after already ruining a surprise, rushing home just to snuggle, making my problems his problems, getting picked up at 4am because my ride was drunk, noticing my love for lemon, watching all of my girly TV shows, thinking long-term, sitting in the carpool lane with me on his day off because I’m running late for work…
I can go on for days because I’ve finally learned that these matter most when you’re with someone special, and you should never ever ever keep track because you’re not having a competition.
I’m glad I’m not that selfish anymore. Appreciate the little things, appreciate him, appreciate her. But also, don’t hesitate to do some spoiling either. Just be good to each other, but if you cheat on me, you might get stuck with a $6k credit card to pay for….. ahahha JUST KIDDING ;)
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Update: August 16, 2012
I have another (vague) thing to add to my list...
Surprising me with a picnic (sort of) lunch of one of my favorite foods, and making me feel comfortable in the most uncomfortable place.
It's a nice feeling remembering all of the sweet little things! I miss having a him.
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