So instead of waking up early to START studying, I logged onto myspace.. browsed a few profiles.. then realized HOW MUCH I HATED IT. I love myspace only because it's an easier way to keep in contact with friends, but there are other means in keeping in touch - phone, AIM, email, or just plain going out! It was only a way for me to post up my pictures from the weekend... send pointless comments to my friends... and take up my homework/study time.
Then I looked at my friends list and realized that I only talked to like 20 people regularly. It's just so superficial to have my 550 friends and not really talk to any of them. I know, I'll probably regret this in a week or so, but right now, I just feel SO relieved! I was a bit hesitant at first.... I just started to delete my pictures, then my blog entries, then all of my friends, then my inbox/outbox. I still didn't feel better, so I just deleted the entire account after a lot of contemplating.
MySpace has caused MOST if not ALL of my major fights with Jonathan and with a few other people here and there. It's just plain drama. I know I could easily just mature and not let it get to me, but I don't think my will power is that strong at this point. As much as people don't want to accept it, myspace HAS become a part of everyday life - a part of this generation and society. People always say, "it's just MySpace," but in today's society, myspace is a pretty big deal. It sounds like a stretch, but it is so true!
I feel like I only know about my friends and what they look like through their myspaces.. well not ALL of them.. but the ones I barely talk to.. and I think that's a little sad. Nevertheless, I reopened an account to start fresh with people I actually talk to and have met more than 5 times. Yeah, I know I'm a hypocrite because I just went on and on and on about deleting my account and how much it sucked only to reopen it again. But I really do feel better because it took a lot of selflessness to erase ALL those friends and ALL those comments and ALL those blogs and ALL those little memories. I didn't think I was going to go through with it, but it was a test for me and I passed!
I also thought about this blog and how there was a big ol' xanga boom and drama here and there. But, this blog is only read by the few who still check blogs and who still remember my link. If anything, this blog is filled with more memories than my myspace.. and I feel like I've neglected it!
I think what pushed me over the edge in deleting my myspace was because I couldn't control getting butthurt over the stupidest shit. Well, of course I could control it.. but the only way I felt was to just get rid of it. I'd get butthurt over Jonathan not approving comments, or people not adding me as a friend when I'd request them or not getting a response after leaving comments! Yup, really stupid dumb little miniscule stuff, but it got to me! But it was mainly because Jonathan had a myspace again and I'd leave him comments and he would never comment back! But then I'd see him commenting other people left and right! I know people feel me on that one! I'd see people that I abhorred so greatly add him and leave him comments. And when I would leave comments, he wouldn't approve them because he said there was no point to them. He only approved a select few, but I think only because he had to approve another person's comment that was left after mine. Ok 95% of the comments we leave for people are pointless... we say hi or reiterate what we did over the weekend. I told him that sorry if my comments aren't full of wisdom! hahahaha.. seee.. I'm getting worked up again. and that's the reason why my account is gone!
Soooo since I feel like Jonathan and I are finally moving our way up out of that shitty hole we've been stuck in for almost a month now, it is only right to do away with the evil that keeps provoking me! hahaha.
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With all of that said, my goal for the week/weekend is to refrain myself from a petty fight with Jonathan. Saturday night I made the mistake in letting my selfishness getting the best of me. When minor girl called, I answered, handed the phone to him, then "accidentally" slid the phone closed. In order for it to not turn into a fight, we just dropped it. I really need to change that about me because it will annihilate our relationship one of these days.
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