love = lottery

I'm in one of those moods right now, and also because 8 years ago on October 31, Jonathan and I danced for the very first time (yeah in 1997 when dark lipstick was in!). I guess you could say that was our very first moment together: dancing to "I Care 'Bout You" by Milestone (from the "Soulfood" Soundtrack) at the 7th/8th grade dance with Joel serenading (yes we go back THAT far) us in the background, Jonathan in a black polo and khakis (or jeans?) and me in my vampire costume (haha), and people taking pictures (pictures that I ended up throwing away because I looked ugly.. I should've saved them though). I sensed his nervousness and he probably sensed mine too. That rush I got from that 5 minutes I will never be able to explain. Oh puppy love...

So when I think about love, I think about the very first time I fell in love, which was of course with my Jonathan. I took love for granted during our puppy love phase. To me, falling in love with Jonathan was like winning the lottery my very first try. I guess that's why it felt too good to be true. After 2 1/2 years, I was sure that we were too young and still needed to explore while he was the one that was willing to do anything for me. I do not regret our 2 year hiatus because we were able to experience new things and to see what life was like without the other. Not surprisingly, the feelings were still there... 2 years later.

It's been almost 3 years since then, and despite our ups and downs, we still manage to get through it all. I know, I know, we both still have LOTS (and lots and lots) of growing up to do (together and separately), but that's what a relationship is - work (but not too much work). At times, I do feel like relationships are overrated - like, why have them at all? - but when those small-tiny heart-warming-tingles-with-butterflies-filling-your-stomach-i-love-you moments come, you know exactly what you're working for. I guess that's why now, I won't give him up without a fight, because who wins the lottery twice in their lives?

corny I know.. but whatever. I love him.